Airplanes

I've taken a lot of flights this year and passed through more airports that I can remember.

Watching the safety instructions are often a good indicator of how the rest of the flight will pane out. Take BA for example.They show a safety film that features an English mother, coloured father and mixed race children. Very politically correct. Emirates on the other hand flicks between actors wearing national dress and ex-pats (4/5ths of their population is not Emirati after all). While all the 'better aircrafts' tell you to turn off ipods, blackberrys and laptops during taxi, take off and landing, the poorer relative (Iran Air) tells you to turn off your first generation game boy. Does anyone actually still own one of those?!

But the airport that takes the biscuit is Damascus Airport. The only excuse I can give them is that they must have built it with the intention of only sending out 2 flights a day.

When you first get there, you have to pay 50 lira ($1US) for a trolley.That's not an issue - even Gatwick trolleys are a pound. The issue is that about 3 porters come and try and 'help' you with your luggage, even though you (a) didn't ask for help and (b)can manage perfectly by yourself. And of course they expect a tip.

The second issue is that everyone departing has to enter the airport through one door. That's right, one door. And Arabs don't know how to queue. And you get 5 'senders off' for every passanger also trying to squeeze in. And once you get to the front, there is one guy trying to check everyone's passports. Not fun nor the best way to start a long haul flight.

The next step is getting your luggage scanned - that is all the luggage, not just the hand luggage. Even though the metal detecter beeped on every second person, no one was searched!

Finally the check in desk. As mentioned previously, Arabs don't queue. So its fun and games again.

For a 3rd world country the duty-free isn't half bad. But getting on board the plane is another scramble. First there's the queue at the gate, or should i say 5 queues that merge into one. Then when you do finally get to the front, they guy checks EVERY single page of your passport. Even though the passport has already been checked at the airport entrance and twice at security and there is no way on earth one can get to the gate without the correct stamps, they still feel the need to check everything again.

Oh well, at least there is some consolation in that the next flight I take will be out of good ole Heathrow.