You gotta love them. They have got some things right! Like the concept of the mother and baby room! Ok, so before you judge me and say things like “wait till she has kids” I’d like to defend myself and say, yes I don’t have kids and while I don’t have kids, I want to make the most of the time I spend in the Holy Shrine.
The other day, it just so happened that I ended up saying my congregational prayers between 2 mothers with young daughters. Girl 1 extended the hand of friendship by giving girl 2 a piece of her cake/toast. Girl 2 was a bit shy and refused to take it. After a few minutes, girl 2’s mother realises and gives her daughter a biscuit to exchange with girl 1. It takes girl 2 another few minutes to overcome her shyness and actually exchange the treats. All this is happening over me, so I end up with a lap full of crumbs. During the first prayer, girl 2 is constantly asking girl 1 to come and play with her in the loudest possible voice. Girl 1 by this point can’t be bothered to play, as her mum has given her toys to play with. Instead of concentrating on my prayers, I’m being made to watch 2 little girls have mini-strops.
Neither mother was remotely interested in keep their daughter quiet, but luckily, in the gap between the prayers, the girls saw an infant they could go and annoy, so they left me in peace for the rest of the prayers.
I’ve also noticed that the women’s section is very noisy (Mosques in Arab countries seem to have a certain serenity to them – why are Iranian ones like fish markets?) and it takes them at least 5 minutes to settle down after the start of a prayer! Women are all too happy to break connections in congregational prayers and constantly talk. The stewards of the mosque berate you for reciting prayers out loud (e.g. when you’re in a group of people and want to recite things together) but they say nothing to the people who talk during prayers or supplications.
All this really makes me appreciate the lengths the volunteers go to in Stanmore to keep the crowds quiet during lectures and prayers. And yes, you can message me and disagree, but I’m still going to say it - long live the mother and toddler room!!
3 comments:
Speaking of Khojas...I agree with you that the baby room is a nice amenity. I used to attend a Khoja mosque for awhile. That was before I had children. I'm glad I don't go there any more because they confuse culture and Islam.
For example, one time my friend's 8-year-old little girl went with me, and she was very quiet and good and she was in full hijab and she was praying beside me... because in Islam children are supposed to start learning and practicing their prayers at age 7. Then one of the women in the mosque asked me her age and when they found out she was 2 weeks short of being baligh, oh, my goodness, you should have heard the fuss! They told me that all the women to my left have to repeat their prayers because they are void because my friend's little girl is not baligh! I was very offended because I knew they were incorrect, so I told someone to ask the scholar that happened to be visiting that particular day and he absolutely said, "up to 2 non-baligh children can stand between every other baligh girl or woman and the connection is not broken.
Do you think anyone ever apologized to me for embarressing me and because they made a mistake? Not a chance. No, I wasn't 'born Muslim' but it's not that hard to find out the rules. Someone who was Muslim her whole life should have known better. Believe me, no one in the whole room full of women spoke up to tell them they were wrong. I forgive them, even though they never apologized, but I'll never forget how they treated me.
I agree Sister, you're right. Khojas, like all other communities, have their issues (good and bad)
Incidentally, I knew that rule!
It's not hard to learn the rules... if you really want to.
What I liked most about the Khoja mosque was that the men and women are completely seperate from each other so the women can be comforatable to remove their hijab inside if they want to.
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